Goshtasp (گشتاسپ)

Keyanian king and father of Esfandiyar, Goshtasp manages the rare feat of embracing religion while completely missing the moral memo. He converts to Zoroastrianism, then immediately turns around and treats his son like a very durable errand boy with a tragic expiration date.

He promises Esfandiyar the throne — classic move — if he rescues his sisters from the ever-problematic Arjasp. So off goes Esfandiyar, completing the Seven Labors like a one-man myth factory. He survives everything thrown at him, which in a fair universe would earn him rest, maybe even a crown. Instead, he gets manipulated into yet another task, because apparently “almost dying repeatedly” wasn’t convincing enough.

Goshtasp then orders him to drag Rostam back in chains. Yes, that Rostam. The result is exactly as wise as it sounds. Guided by Simurgh, Rostam fires a two-pronged tamarisk arrow into Esfandiyar’s eyes, killing him. Heroic son, gone. Father’s plan, technically completed. Emotional intelligence, nowhere to be found.

Goshtasp, meanwhile, lives out a long life and dies peacefully — because consequences are apparently optional — before naming his grandson Bahman, Esfandiyar’s son, as heir. A touching gesture, if you ignore the part where he had to destroy the previous generation to get there.